Man, the moment we step into work we are RUNNING! Many times I have looked at the clock and wondered “I only have 6 hours left in my shift! How am I going to get everything done!” Work can get you down. It would be so nice if we could cater to the needs of the nurses. Here are a few ideas I think would be helpful:

-Timed bathroom breaks like we give our toddlers when we are potty training them. Say goodbye to UTIs!

-Extra bonuses that day if we are running our asses off. For example: every time you go into a patient’s room, you get like a little green light on your vest (like in lazer tag). If you are constantly running around, you get a bonus at the end of the day for how hard you worked. On the other hand, if you sat around and did nothing (I’m talking to you lazy charge nurse…) your pay is docked. I’m just saying.

-Let’s talk heelys skate shoes. Remember those? I feel like they would be a much better way to get around the hospital because my dogs are barking at the end of the day. You know when you have 2 patients in A pod and 3 patients in C pod…you are just running all day back and forth. Stop, put your skates on and coast across the pods effortlessly. Way more fun.

-Lunch breaks where patients are not allowed to call out and doctors are not allowed to request anything during that time. From 12-1 all is quiet. Example: Doc “I need you to start an IV STAT on A218. Oh wait, I’m so sorry. I didn’t realize it was quiet time. It can wait! Enjoy your lunch Nurse Rita.”

I wish someone would have told me in nursing school how hard this job was going to be. Is it fullfilling? A little but mostly it’s hard. Damn, it’s difficult taking care of others all the time. Hey…Patient transport, please just push me around on a stretcher so I can medicate my patients, thanks!